morning has dawned

    I was first introduced to Keith Green’s song “O Lord, You’re Beautiful” in 2020. As life seemed to be upended by the COVID pandemic, I began to see just how beautiful the LORD really was/is … and then the unimaginable began to happen … By the Lord’s grace, I began to be captivated by the LORD’s beauty. This led to me being captivated by the LORD Himself. Even as I write this, I struggle to find words to describe the glory of the One who chose to walk with me down a dark road … a road that has, ultimately, led to an indescribable freedom.

    This journey to freedom began with Freedom Session … a journey to true freedom from the bondage of my past. I thought the journey was finished; however, it had just begun. The second half of my journey to freedom has been much harder, BUT it has led to light dawning. In a very real way, this process has been unsettling. Scary. Lonely. When I didn’t think I could continue this part of the journey, Jesus met me through the texts, calls, Zoom calls & FaceTime with some friends who are like family & with a family member who is more like the best friend I didn’t know I needed … I have been loved more than I deserve! The Lord reminded me that I wasn’t alone. Although the darkness, at times, was suffocating and thick, the LORD also provided true glimpses of His light as I began to ask two questions. 

1. What do I believe?
2. Why do I believe it?

These questions opened a “Pandora’s Box,” and I was grieved to discover that MOST of my faith has been based on man’s opinion/personal interpretation of Scripture. Oh, my Friend, don’t settle for ANYTHING that God hasn’t shown you HIMSELF! It only leads to bondage!

    The LORD has graciously begun to reshape some things and speak into some areas where there needs to be some holy renovation taking place. I’m learning to trust His timing. I’m thankful He doesn’t address everything all at once, too. Jesus is gentle. Kind. Trustworthy … even with the darkness. Even when the changes hurt, the Lord’s grace is sustaining grace … especially to His weakest child. One thing, among many, that I’ve learned is that Jesus doesn’t kick us when we’re down. He lifts us up. 

    “O LORD, You are beautiful!” 
        His grace has abounded to me.

    As this process took months to wade through, my anxiety has been higher than it’s been in a very long time. I found peace & joy at my piano bench. My mind could rest. My soul could just be still … many such times, I sat with Jesus by my side, just enjoying His presence. I could, in some ways, lean in to Him and relax. When it became obvious that I had to stop playing the piano, the LORD still met me where I was …

   Now, I walk & talk with Him as I am behind my camera. As I take pictures of His world, something inside gets lighter as I adore Him in the beauty He has created. Each picturesque moment takes my breath away … and I hunger for more. 
  
   “O LORD, you’re wonderful! 
        Your touch is all I need, and when Your hand is on this child
        Your healing I receive.”

    Truth be known, this journey is far from over. In many ways, it’s just begun. Light has come, though. The physiological issues that I began dealing with have subsided, for the most part. I can sleep without a light on and without the aid of medication. Morning has dawned! And I can rest … I can rest knowing that I am known by the One who came to set the captives free … the One who is, indeed, beautiful to me. 

​A fellow Pilgrim headed home to the Celestial City!