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Father's Day is a great day for a lot of people. Fun & celebrations to honor a man who, though imperfect, is worthy of honor and respect. For some, Father's Day is observed from a broken heart that loves, in spite of the pain of a strained relationship. Others ... they are grieving on Father's Day because they no longer have their father here with them. No words to be ever spoken again. No chance to mend that which needs to be mended. And still others trudge through Father's Day feeling not needed, unwanted ... and, maybe, unloved. Father's Day can be quite traumatic for many who fit in a variety of these categories. We are all in one - or more - of these categories. BUT the one characteristic we have in common, if we're a child of God, is that these fallible men around us are but dust ... imperfect in every way, as we ourselves are ... and they ALL can serve as a beacon of light to the only perfect Father ... God. The only Father who deserves ultimate praise. The Father who stops at nothing to restore the relationship with us, even when we resist Him. He's the only Father who will never die. The only Father who can't die. He, eternally, speaks words of life and hope and love, even when we stray. The Father who understands our pain, our trust issues and the father wound plaguing our soul, reminding us that He's like none other. He speaks. He is gentle with our hearts, for He knows we are but dust. After all, He created us. For one who dreads Father's Day every year, I'm learning that God the Father knows me better than I know myself. This Father's Day weekend is no different. The reality is this is a tough weekend. As I was cleaning today (6/19/2021), a sweet friend showed up ... reminding me of what I already knew logically ... that my Heavenly Father hasn't rejected me. He longs for me to grow deeper in my trust and love for Him, even when I don't understand what He's doing or allowing. He hasn't pushed me away. What a gift from my Heavenly Father! Whether your father is the ideal father or not, whether he's the hero or the villain of your life, whether he's living or not, my prayer is that you will focus your eyes and heart upon God the Father. Even as I write this, I know there are fathers/grandfathers who are hurting due to relationship issues/changes. If you're that person reading this, God the Father understands your pain as well. I pray you will find your ultimate comfort and hope in the only One who can meet you there in that pain ... God the Father. To the fathers who love Jesus and who strive to represent God the Father well to your families and to those you encounter, thank you!!! I hope you have a great Father's Day! More than anyone else, though ... to the one Father whose never been far away these 39 years even when I chose to ignore You, thank You for being faithful! Thank You for loving me - and all of us - so much that You sent Jesus to redeem all who call upon Your name. Thank You for meeting me behind the lens of my camera. I enjoy our walks! You're a good, good Father!
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I was first introduced to Keith Green’s song “O Lord, You’re Beautiful” in 2020. As life seemed to be upended by the COVID pandemic, I began to see just how beautiful the LORD really was/is … and then the unimaginable began to happen … By the Lord’s grace, I began to be captivated by the LORD’s beauty. This led to me being captivated by the LORD Himself. Even as I write this, I struggle to find words to describe the glory of the One who chose to walk with me down a dark road … a road that has, ultimately, led to an indescribable freedom.
This journey to freedom began with Freedom Session … a journey to true freedom from the bondage of my past. I thought the journey was finished; however, it had just begun. The second half of my journey to freedom has been much harder, BUT it has led to light dawning. In a very real way, this process has been unsettling. Scary. Lonely. When I didn’t think I could continue this part of the journey, Jesus met me through the texts, calls, Zoom calls & FaceTime with some friends who are like family & with a family member who is more like the best friend I didn’t know I needed … I have been loved more than I deserve! The Lord reminded me that I wasn’t alone. Although the darkness, at times, was suffocating and thick, the LORD also provided true glimpses of His light as I began to ask two questions.
These questions opened a “Pandora’s Box,” and I was grieved to discover that MOST of my faith has been based on man’s opinion/personal interpretation of Scripture. Oh, my Friend, don’t settle for ANYTHING that God hasn’t shown you HIMSELF! It only leads to bondage! The LORD has graciously begun to reshape some things and speak into some areas where there needs to be some holy renovation taking place. I’m learning to trust His timing. I’m thankful He doesn’t address everything all at once, too. Jesus is gentle. Kind. Trustworthy … even with the darkness. Even when the changes hurt, the Lord’s grace is sustaining grace … especially to His weakest child. One thing, among many, that I’ve learned is that Jesus doesn’t kick us when we’re down. He lifts us up. “O LORD, You are beautiful!” His grace has abounded to me. As this process took months to wade through, my anxiety has been higher than it’s been in a very long time. I found peace & joy at my piano bench. My mind could rest. My soul could just be still … many such times, I sat with Jesus by my side, just enjoying His presence. I could, in some ways, lean in to Him and relax. When it became obvious that I had to stop playing the piano, the LORD still met me where I was … Now, I walk & talk with Him as I am behind my camera. As I take pictures of His world, something inside gets lighter as I adore Him in the beauty He has created. Each picturesque moment takes my breath away … and I hunger for more. “O LORD, you’re wonderful! Your touch is all I need, and when Your hand is on this child Your healing I receive.” Truth be known, this journey is far from over. In many ways, it’s just begun. Light has come, though. The physiological issues that I began dealing with have subsided, for the most part. I can sleep without a light on and without the aid of medication. Morning has dawned! And I can rest … I can rest knowing that I am known by the One who came to set the captives free … the One who is, indeed, beautiful to me. A fellow Pilgrim headed home to the Celestial City! |
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November 2024
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