2020 has been on the hardest years most of us have faced in our lives. Many have labeled 2020 as a dumpster fire. In many ways, I must confess I agree with these folks. In the midst of this global pandemic that has changed & devastated so many lives, there have been many LIFE LESSONS to take from 2020 into 2021 ... and hopefully, into every day of my life until I meet my LORD face to face. 

JANUARY: 
* Freedom Session (FS) began with my cousin, Laura. Although freedom & healing are still in process, I discovered that I wasn't alone. God hadn't abandoned me, and I had family who were/are passionate about my freedom in Christ. They are passionate about me living out my purpose in life, too.
* Some of the best friendships are developed through the daily-ness of life ... 

FEBRUARY:
* Not too long into my FS journey, I began to find FS parallels within the pages of Scripture. Although the journey wasn't easy, there was a peaceful chaos within my soul knowing that the principles of FS could be found within Scripture. 
* "The only RIGHT answer is an HONEST answer." This quote STILL resonates loudly within my soul because I'm a people pleaser. 
* My heart began to love and yearn for a place I've never been: CANADA.
* Jesus is the greatest Valentine of all!
* Prayer has always intimidated me; however, "prayer is sometimes as simple as just being with God."

MARCH:
* It's okay to like myself & to celebrate the gifts & strengths that God's given me. 
* Jesus reveals what He's willing to heal.
* I must ask God into the hurt & lies of my life.
* Not everything I think or write needs to be made known, even if it is true.
* "He <God> is more than enough, and you have HIM." 
* I am created to worship God.
* God's true people do not condemn you because of your past. 

APRIL:
* Jesus' proclamation of TETELESTAI on Calvary was for all that was/is wrong in life ... past/present/future.
* LEAN IN! to God and others. Learn to truly listen & see.
* God is the God of hesed - steadfast love! I met some AMAZING sisters in Christ from Sioux Lookout, Ontario, Canada, during an online ZOOM retreat. My world was rocked & changed in ways I cannot describe. 
* Miracles still happen!

MAY: 
* Learn to see myself as God sees me.
* Begin to pray SPECIFIC, not vague, prayers.
* God's so much bigger & greater than what I ever knew! 

JUNE & JULY:
* ASSIST Canada & its mission gripped my soul through online prayer meetings & mission reports. The harvest is, indeed, plentiful. Oh, LORD, do a work & equip me to go. 

AUGUST:
* God put a passion in my soul ... I must fulfill His calling, even if I go alone.
* My world great even more with a Philippians Bible study. From one side of Canada to the other, I saw God be honoured and glorified like never before! 
* Heaven rules!

SEPTEMBER:
* I can REST in the fact that God is El Shama - the God who hears me.
* I must devote my entire life to truly knowing God.

OCTOBER:
* I am NOT called to a blind faith.
* "My great business in life is to please God." This Hudson Taylor quote/life motto should characterize my life.
* BE LIGHT!
* I must run to God, even when I'm alone in my passion for His ministry.

NOVEMBER:
* Focus on what I'm to do, NOT on what I don't have.
* Psalm 73:28 "The nearness of God is my good."
* Art is a great distraction & a way for me to monitor my words.
* Set practical SMART goals & attain them.

DECEMBER:
* God is big enough for my questions. Rely on the Holy Spirit.
* The Holy Spirit is my truth & lie detector.
* Jesus must be the goal of my life & pursuits.
* Faith doesn't have to be complicated to be deep.
* I am BEAUTIFUL in God's sight. I am WANTED, APPRECIATED, & LOVED by God. I am a COMPETENT person by God's grace. I am a RIGHTEOUS person, COVERED by Christ's purity/goodness/righteousness. I am SECURE in Christ.
* Sometimes freedom in your journey comes through purging that which you though you couldn't live without.
* God still answers REAL prayers!

As this very difficult year comes to an end and a new year begins, how I long for a greater work of God ... a greater love for God ... a renewed spirit to press on by His grace ... How I long to see more prayers answered & more miracles happen! 

To God be the glory!
Great things He hath done!

A simple challenge to not purchase books for a year so I can meet some financial goals seems to have taken on a life of its own. As I was clearing out some old papers and planner kits, I decided to create my DAILY LIFE PLANNER & my FAITH JOURNAL for 2021 from what I had on hand … As I was going through the plethora of planner kits & stickers & accessories, and as I began to create/assemble my 2021 planner & journal, I came across some journal entries from December 2018.

That month was the most difficult & bittersweet, most ugly kind of beautifully blessed season of my life … You see, I was on a night watch rotation as my grandmother was nearing death. The nights were agonizing, to say the least … and in the wee morning hours, I would watch to see if she was still breathing. I didn’t want her to go. We’d been through so much together … and I considered it a devastating honour to be with her in those final days. As she slept, I would read. Pray. Watch her breathe. Get a brief nap or two. And I would write. I struggled to find lasting comfort in the words spoken by all who reached out via Facebook, texts, calls, or visits. All I could surmise was that my Grannaw was about to be gone, and I had many regrets … However, In the midst of my greatest grief, I found one Source of comfort. The Word of God. I wasn’t reading long passages. I wasn’t reading verses in context. I wasn’t reading in an orderly fashion. I was being selective. Although, I’ve been told that’s wrong to do because I can risk being in error, I found HOPE. I found COMFORT. It wasn’t the HOPE & COMFORT that made the grief less painful. It wasn’t hope & comfort that made that particular season of life amazing, either! Quite frankly, the grief was raw & life was anything but amazing! In fact, December 2018 … life just sucked. I’d never been beside someone who was dying … and I sure had never seen anyone who had gone into their final sleep before death, as my grandmother had done. I’d never had to give morphine to anyone before, and I wondered with every dose I had to give “am I killing my grandmother” …

    The hope & comfort that I found made life bearable.
        It made those final days of her life tolerable.
            It made getting out of bed doable.
                It made cleaning the homes of my clients doable.
                    It made being able to breathe possible.

As I have re-read through my journal notes from December 2018, I can’t help but think of the effects of 2020. COVID19. The rioting. The loss. The devastation. The fear & anxiety. The suicide rates. The election mayhem. The personal struggles. The lack of faith. The lack of resources. It’s overwhelming! And once again, through these passages … I find HOPE & COMFORT. I find hope & comfort in the fact that I know the King of kings. The LORD of lords … who speaks peace to His child when the storm rages wildly. My faith has been on rocky ground this year, I won’t deny that. All that seemed right now seems so terribly wrong. Through it all, I’m starting to realize that to maintain the hope & comfort, I must run to the Father again & again & again & again.

What are some of the passages that ministered to my hurting heart then?
What are some of the passages that can continue to minister words of grace & hope & comfort as 2020 comes to a close & 2021 dawns?

{While I was with my grandmother, I used the King James Bible; however, I am using various translations here because it gives a depth to the verses that one translation alone cannot give.}

Revelation 21:3-7 [The Message Bible] “I heard a voice from the Throne: “Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making His home with men and women! They’re His people; He’s their God. He’ll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good - tears gone, crying gone, pain gone - all the first order of things gone.” The Enthroned continued, “Look! I’m making everything new. Write it all down - each word dependable and accurate.” Then He said, “It’s happened. I’m A to Z. I’m the Beginning. I’m the Conclusion. From Water-of-Life Well I give freely to the thirsty. Conquerors inherit all this. I’ll be God to them, they’ll be sons and daughters to Me.”

Psalm 34:17-19, 22 [New King James Version] “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all … The LORD redeems the soul of His servants, and none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned.”

Psalm 147:3, 11 [English Standard Version] “He [the LORD] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds … the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear Him, in those who hope in His steadfast love.”

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 [The Message Bible] “All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy!  God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, He brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.”

Isaiah 41:10 [The Message Bible] “Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.”

Psalm 18:28, 30, 46 [English Standard Version] “For it is You who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness … This God - His way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him … The LORD lives, and blessed be my Rock, and exalted be the God of my salvation - “

Romans 8:18 [New King James Version] “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

Psalm 119:50 [The Message Bible] “These words hold me up in bad times; yes, Your promises rejuvenate me.”
[New King James Bible] “This is my comfort in my affliction, for Your word has given me life.”

Psalm 121 [The Message Bible] “I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains? No, my strength comes from GOD, who made heaven, and earth, and mountains. He won’t let you stumble, your Guardian God won’t fall asleep. Not on your life! Israel’s Guardian will never doze or sleep. GOD’s your Guardian, right at your side to protect you - shielding you from sunstroke, sheltering you from moon stroke. GOD guards you from every evil, He guards your very life. He guards you when you leave and when you return, He guards you now, He guards you always.”

I don’t know what you are dealing with as 2020 closes. Loss of friends or family through death. Loss of relationships. Loss of jobs. Loss of all you’ve known to identify yourself with. I understand the weight of the burden, Friend. I’ve been reminded tonight (12/12/2020) that our LORD is still faithful. Our LORD is still good. He’s using all things for our good & for His glory. If you are in the same boat I am in tonight & you feel like you are trying to figure out who you are because the rug has been pulled out from under you, may I suggest for us both that we need to find our identity in one Source. Christ Jesus … and then we need to live according to THAT one identity. No matter what the stock markets do, no matter who accepts us or rejects us, no matter what job we may/may not have … our identity cannot be found in what we do, who we are related to, who we are best friends with, or even the church we attend … our identity must be in Jesus. No matter what 2021 holds, I pray that you & I will both find our rest, our hope, our comfort, our identity in Jesus alone. He is the ONLY way we can survive this life with an unspeakable joy & with a peace that passes all understanding.

A Pilgrim still headed towards the Celestial City!
Soli Deo Gloria!

             For the last twelve weeks, my church has been walking through a Bible study entitled Behold Your God: Rethinking God Biblically by a pastor in New Albany, MS. John Snyder. Just two weeks before Christmas - a day set aside by many to behold and marvel at the birth of the GodMan … Jesus … the One known as Emmanuel, God with us - we finished this study.

                How I pray that the truths I’ve gleaned from this study will open my heart’s eyes to behold the Babe of Bethlehem with greater love. Greater devotion. Greater awe. To behold Him from the Bethlehem manger to Calvary’s rugged cross … to the empty tomb … to the Father’s right hand.

Oh, Jesus, may I behold YOU rightly all the days of my life.

Here is a sampling of the truths I’ve gleaned from this study:

 1. The adoration of God must consume my heart/soul/mind.
 2. The treasure of Christianity is that God has done all that is necessary for ME to know HIM forever.
 3. God’s attributes define WHO He is, not merely how He acts.
 4. John Piper: “Being infinite, God is inexhaustibly interesting. It is therefore impossible that God be boring.”
 5. Ignatius of Antioch: “Apart from Christ, let nothing dazzle you.”
 6. There is risk to follow God wherever He calls … but it brings LIFE & ADVENTURE.
 7. I can know theological facts, but be spiritually ignorant … missing God altogether.
 8. Prayerlessness is rooted in a small view of God.
 9. Sin is a thief of the glory I owe God.
10. William Romaine: “In books I converse with men, in the Bible I converse with God.”
11. My measure of God is the measure of my hope. Big God, big hope. Small God, small hope.
12. Jesus bears the FULL impress of God’s character.
13. C.H. Spurgeon: “Incarnate deity has no wall of fire about it. ‘Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest,’ is the joyful proclamation of God as He appears in human flesh.”
14. Knowing Jesus is LIFE!
15. I must know Jesus better than any other person.
16. What God does will ALWAYS reflect who He is.
17. Hudson Taylor: “My great business in life is to please God.”
18. Who you are in Christ determines how you live for Him.
19. To truly gaze upon Christ … to behold Him … is to determine the setting of my heart and mind on the realities of King Jesus.
20. No set of rules can in any way effectively transform us apart from Christ.
21. God isn’t primarily interested in our gifts, songs, or prayers; He is concerned about us - what we really are.
22. I must allow God to form my views/doctrine/theology/worship … NOT traditions, cultures, churches, other people, etc.
23. A good ambassador is an ACCURATE representative of his King.
24. Love for God forms the foundation for true compassion toward mankind.
25. My purpose & significance come from belonging to Jesus … NOT from what I do.
26. Change … renewal … revival MUST start in my heart/life first.
27. Knowing God requires me to surrender everything to follow Him.
28. The cultivated presence of God is when God’s nearness is enjoyed … even if others are unaware of His presence.
29. Learn to pray Scripture.
30. It is possible for God to be my life’s treasured delight.
31. Jonathan Edwards: “He is not only a gentle, but an all-sufficient God. There is enough in Him to answer all our wants and satisfy all our desires.”

As we approach the birthday celebration of the King of kings, the LORD of lords ... the risen LORD Jesus Christ ... my prayer for you & for me is that we will behold our God and that we, perhaps for the first time, will genuinely behold Him! 
Soli Deo Gloria!
​MERRY CHRISTMAS!