The Classroom of Life

It's hard to believe that we're halfway through August. It's been five months since my last blog post ... and seeing that I pay for this spot on the internet, I might as well use it. Honestly, it's been a struggle to write. But that's kind of the point of this return to writing post ... about being in life's classroom.
I read a quote in July that said: "True independence and freedom can only exist in doing what's right." I've thought about it a lot since I first read it. And in some ways, this post ... is about doing just that. Even when it seems that all I'm doing is putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes doing what's right is - in fact - taking the next step, even when you don't want to. 
"Doing what's right" ... four questions come to mind when I read this quote. (1) What is 'right'? (2) Who/What gets to define 'right'? (3) Why are there so many opinions as to what's right? (4) Will we ever settle on an objective standard of 'right'? 
"True independence and freedom can only exist in doing what's right" is a very convicting quote. It's also encouraging. I see where I've chosen that which seemed easier, at times. I see where, by God's grace, I've chosen what's right ... even though it was done imperfectly. 
Following my recovery from my hysterectomy in December, I was excited to get back to living life; however, a lot of change began to take over my life ... (and a lot of change tends to spiral me. That plus the trauma of 2024 caught up with me.) 
I was excited to being back on the floor caregiving again ... and then it changed. Through a simple question from one of my favorite friends and bonus big sister ... the LORD closed the door at Providence and led me to The Pinnacle of Southaven. To be their Activities Director. I've never directed anything; I thought it was crazy, but my journey with them started on April 1. I went from helping residents with activities for daily living (ADLs) to being the "creative caregiver". And while this career path isn't what I expected or dreamed of, it's so much more than I could ask or imagine. 
I've been there 4 1/2 months now. And the Lord continues to redeem what felt like wasted years as I get to serve my team and our residents. 
What may come as a surprise to many people is that I stepped out of my role with Indian Life Ministries ... now known as Intertribal Life Ministries. This decision was anything but easy; however, working remotely for an international ministry presented unexpected challenges that I wasn't ready for and I wasn't equipped to handle ... although, for now, I do digital art for the paper, I do nothing else that I used to do. I have grieved this change more than one might imagine because it left a void I can't describe here. I used to wonder if I wasted my time or if what I did mattered ... and while I'll never know the truth to some of the lingering questions and doubts ... I do know that it gave me a ministry mindset. Being a part of ILM showed me how to love people who aren't like me, and it helped shape how I work in a healthcare facility. So from that vantage point, it was worth the late nights of research ... the conversations ... the prayers. 
The classroom of life is much like a school classroom. Some days/seasons are for testing. 2025 has had its fair share of testing, that's for sure. Some tests have been easy. And some ... well, they've been dark and brutal. But one thing has remained ... or rather one Person has remained ever present. He's seemingly silent, at times, like a teacher during an exam. But He's faithfully near. 
Psalm 46:1 says, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
The LORD has shown Himself to be that quiet Refuge. The quiet Strength. The Help in the testing ... and it's been through His servants. Pastors, Sunday school teachers, loved ones miles away, "bonus family" God's given me, and my job. As folks would ask probing questions that I'd try to avoid, they press in. Coming over to speak life and to give hope. Coming up to me at work and saying "we're gonna help". 
I've spent the better part of this summer just putting one foot in front of the other ... of doing the next thing ... and it's here that I am finding independence and a renewed freedom as I learn how to live with these broken places in life ... mentally, relationally, emotionally, spiritually ... I've begged God to heal these areas. And in the quietness of every broken plea, the Father seems to whisper: "Trust Me. I'm here." 
I've found my spark for art again. While I was doing hand-drawn art for ILM, it got to be tedious, uninspiring -at times- and too painful to draw. Now, it's imperfect art that less complex and yet, I leave my art with a smile again. It's given me back my creative spark. And I'm forever thankful!
It's been a hot minute since I've written anything. The last blog post proves that fact. The last thing I did write was a recent short story for a class I just finished. While it was 2 paragraphs (a micro-short story), it got the writing started. 
I've spent the last couple of days at home ... and was inspired to pick my Bible back up. I've been in Philippians for quite some time. Paul, in prison, is writing this book ... he could tell us about the Classroom of Life ... In Philippians 3:12-4:1, the LORD shined His light graciously into the darkness that had been heavy for so long this summer. Paul says: "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained. Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body. Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends!"
Make no mistake. The Classroom of Life changes us. It teaches, sanctifies, and corrects us. It has a way of giving life more meaning. More depth. It helps us to do the right thing, and in turn, granting us that independence and freedom we all long for. 
In James 1:2, James (the half-brother of our Lord) says, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him."
For those of us who know Jesus ... may we be found faithful ... enjoying a life of true independence and true freedom that only come from following Jesus.
And for those who may not know Jesus personally, I'd love to talk to you. Trials and tests in this life are a given, but they don't have to be faced alone. 

A fellow student.
A fellow pilgrim.
SDG!